Monday, 26 September 2016

Me, Being Mummy - Again.

I have come to the conclusion that I am not very good at being British. I was born here (sunny seaside town of Brighton... to be precise... when it was a town and not a jumped up City with over priced parking and waaaaay too many people) and am therefore 100% British. But that doesn't mean I am very good at being British. For one, I hate tea. Can't stand the stuff. My Uncle still offers me tea to this day in the hope I will come to my senses and say 'Oooo, yes please, milk 2 sugars.' Makes it extremely awkward when one goes out for afternoon tea and also means I shall never get to fully enjoy ownership of a teapot. Sad times.

Two - I am not good at keeping a stiff upper lip.... at all. The only thing my upper lip has ever been good at keeping is a collection of fine hairs which, thanks to my lovely friends in the beauty biz, get torn off on a (semi) regular basis. Nope, I crack and openly weep on a much more consistently than I wax, which also leads me to number 3 - I do not follow our British mantra of 'Keep calm and carry on'. Ever. Never ever. Which is ironic as have owned many cushions/tea towels/ tea cups (ironic, I know) with the mantra emblazoned across them in hopes of having it sink in. All to no avail. If the mantra was written as 'Panic and stop dead in your tracks', I would be great at being British! Kind of like a rabbit in front of headlights... can you get British rabbits? Or are all rabbits just rabbits, with no need for labels??

Anyway! This rather long winded and slightly delirious ramble leads me to explain why I have not been on the blog for a while... I simply failed at keeping calm and carrying on. My upper lip wobbled (and, I must confess, is also a little hairy due to other distractions) and it is all because the last few months have brought with them some big, BIG news that stopped me dead in my tracks like a scared British Rabbit in its truest form.

Shortly after my last entry, we found out we are having Baby No2!! Gaaahh! Simultaneously excited and petrified in equal measures!



What with the impending arrival being a complete surprise and then suffering for the whole first trimester and even into the second with possibly the worst morning sickness I could have had, I put all of my energies into keeping myself and my little family functioning as best as possible and sadly ran out of steam for pretty much everything else.

Emotionally and physically, I have just been rather shot to pieces. Baby no2 is already so loved and looked forward to, and the the concept of being a family of four is so exciting and humbling. But, I am human and, unlike a rabbit, this particular pregnancy has brought about so many symptoms and emotions and changes in circumstances (main one being pregnant with a 16 month old... Tired doesn't come close) so it's left me quite overwhelmed. And when I say overwhelmed, I mean practically hermit like. To the point where turning my mobile on scared me - conversing with people in general scared me actually - and on some days I've had to parent horizontally from the sofa (to save myself from standing up and puking/seeing the room spin/facing potential risk of head falling off of shoulders) and do the bare minimum of making food, changing nappies then bath and bed before then crawling straight into bed myself. Work has been kept to the bare minimum to accommodate lack of energy and socialising has been done sparingly, also in order to preserve energy for menial things such as housework, food shopping.... breathing.

This summer has been a stressful and tiring one for other personal reasons which I won't bore you with. Hormones in overload, extreme tiredness and morning sickness for almost 16 weeks are the mains ones though, but am now starting to feel a little less stuck in the boggy trap of progesterone and much closer to being my 'normal' self* which means I am back on the blog and looking forward to catching up on all that has been happening since June/July! Am so excited! A new baby, a 16 month old who is now WALKING like a dressage horse in new shoes (see, lots to catch up on!) and everything else in between. Stay tuned!

*Normal self will and shall always resemble scared rabbit, possibly mixed with crazed ostrich which buries head in sand for all occasions where things get far too 'adulty'.

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