I hate it when I can't blog. I love my blog and I love writing. It gives me a sense of purpose and a little haven to let go of all my creative vibes that are somewhat penned in nowadays with the monotony of loading and unloading the dish washer and washing machine and writing all important documents such as shopping lists and emails to letting agents about things that insist on simultaneously combusting such as light switches, boilers and ovens. But, with potentially a mere handful of days left to go until predicted B-Day, I have been struck with the worse case of fatigue and baby brain thats making it seem hard to just get dressed correctly, let alone piece full sentences together. So, as a laugh, I thought I would put down some examples of my baby brained madness and side effects that have been happening of late. Here they are, my ten top baby brain examples:
1) Forgetting left from right. Our oven repair man asked to use our bathroom the other day and I said 'Yeah sure, its up the stairs, first door on the.... uh... the....' before waving and gesturing my hands wildly in an attempt to indicate 'Left'.
Side note: it just took me a minute of looking up at the ceiling to remember the word for 'indicate'. Am not entirely sure thats even the word I wanted but hey, it works so lets move on.
I have also driven PB to distraction in the car when trying to give directions to places, sending him left instead of right and vice versa. He switched the sat nav on eventually.
2) Forgetting how things work. When standing and attempting to pay for our parking ticket at the shopping centre the other day, it took me what felt like an age to locate exactly where to insert the ticket and then there was a vast amount of fumbling for change as every coin in my purse looked the bloody same. Pair that up with the clumsiness that had me scatter a few of those said coins on the ground and you can imagine how relieved I was to make it back to the safety of the car, even if I did trip into it with all the grace of a meandering buffalo.
3) Baby brain breeds clumsy actually. I have spilt, tipped, tripped and knocked my way about the place for the past couple of weeks and it makes for tricky situations. Such as the time I was carrying BB out of his room and down the stairs and my shirt tail got caught on the baby gate catch and tugged us both back up the stairs. Or the time I dropped an entire pot of sour cream out of the fridge that exploded and managed to redecorate the fronts of the kitchen cupboards. Same for the ketchup bottle I dropped actually. And the mustard.
3) Getting dressed. I have put things on that are inside out and the wrong way round so many times that I have lost count. Well meaning friends and family have tried to tuck in a label, only to realise that the label is actually sitting where it should, it is simply that the person wearing the label is topsy turvy in the head. And, as a superstitious nonsense sort of fan, if something I am wearing is the wrong way round, I have to leave it that way so that I don't inflict any more bad luck on myself.
4) Forgetting names or getting names mixed up. I'm sorry if I have done this to you recently.. it is not intentional. The other day I called our son my uncle's name, my uncle my other half's name and my other half my son's name. Freud would have had a field day but I can assure you it is merely a tangled web of short circuits in the grey matter. Luckily, my family are so patient with me and all understand what is happening... especially when it takes me so long to relay a story or anecdote these days due to the fact I have to revert back and correct myself as to who told me what. So frustrating!
5) Forgetting how to string a sentence together at all. Recently, instead of a sentence, I have uttered the sounds 'uh.... un... er... na... shhh... snar... mm'. Poor PB looked at me as though I had suffered a stroke. Can't even remember what the actual sentence was meant to be either.
6) Forgetting where things go. I put dirty clothes in the rubbish bin the other day. Wasn't until I went to throw actual rubbish in there that I realised what had happened and hoofed them out and into the washing machine. Whilst shaking my head and wondering where my brain has gone.
7) Forgetting how to read. I have been stuck on the same page of my book now for the best part of a week. I read a sentence and move to the next and instantly think 'what have I just read??'. Then I get sleepy and give up... so at least its a good way of battling the late pregnancy insomnia!
8) Forgetting how to listen. People speak to me, I see their mouths move and hear sounds coming out and then all of a sudden they are silent and looking at me expectantly and I have to come clean and say 'I'm so sorry... you're going to have to repeat all that because I have no idea what you have just said....!'.
9) Forgetting where I am. I have lost my bearings so many times in the past few weeks that I have felt the physical process of my brain connecting land marks before lighting up a little light bulb that says 'You're in such and such a place'. This goes for shops, streets, car parks and houses. The other day I went to visit my Mum and walked past a window and thought to myself with a chuckle 'Oh how funny?! They have the same curtains as my Mum! What are the odds?'... before walking another hundred yards and realising that no; the curtains did in fact belong to my mother and I had completely walked past her house. No coincidence. Just brain incompetence.
10) Forgetting why I am in a room. To be fair, this has been happening for years. But now it is even more acute and takes even longer for me to retrace my steps mentally to grasp what it is I am after. Actually, I have to retrace my steps physically now... mentally isn't enough to jog the memory. It is so frustrating too because the room I walk into and go blank in is usually on a separate floor to where I was initially so there has been a lot of trudging myself and big bump up and down stairs. The air in our house is just blue right now. Probably explains why BB is currently uttering a phrase that sounds very much like 'Oh shit'.... my bad!
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